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Make it personal September 17, 2007

Posted by vsap in Poetry, Uncategorized.

I try not to make it personal, I tell myself,

that way I don’t get hurt. But I do.

I can’t think of a reason to feel sad, dejected,

but it’s there like paint on my fingers or

gasoline on my shoe, it wears off eventually

but eventually is too long and I’m impatient.

It’s like a slump for a baseball player, whether he

tries to hit, tries to pitch, tries to field, the rhythm is missing,

and it was there just a day or two before, I didn’t change

anything, that I’m aware of, he tells himself,

and I say the same things to myself, too.

So why, at the moment after receiving high praise,

do things seem to come just a bit undone?

I get some nausea, my mind is distracted, and

my heart wanders from thing to thing it usually ignores,

all of that being no good for me anyway.

I can say it’s the devil, since I believe that’s true.

My agnostic friends tell me it’s just the evil we all

face from time to time, like seasonal affective disorder.

At the moment I don’t know what to believe so I believe it all.

And that won’t get me back in the groove so I’m looking for

something or someone to acknowledge what this is,

give a name to this nameless beast so I’ll know how to deal.

I just want to deal with it and move along.



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