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As much as anyone needs to know March 23, 2007

Posted by vsap in Blogroll, Poetry.

September 4, 2006

We do not need to be lonely,
We do need to be alone
From time to time the quiet of solitude
Brings clarity and a gathering up
Rather than a gathering together.

I have waited in loneliness,
Selfishly keeping to myself.
When I sought relationships
They were dashed like so many wooden ships
In the storms of ancient folklore.

I stay at the edge, patrolling the fringe,
Looking in from the other side of the fence.
But I don’t come across because of fear of what I might find,
I don’t come across because I already know what is over there,
And I choose not to join in.

Invitations to come across have lost their meaning for me.
I may step into that other world but I won‘t become part of it.
Even if someone thinks they’ve dug below the surface of me,
They haven’t since I hold more back than I will ever give.
I know the giving costs too much for what it pays.

And it’s honest to ask what has made me bitter, cynical and jealous.
How can I respond? To blame someone, something, or situation?
To say I’ve had it with pain and betrayal?
Must I recount each time I made a wrong choice
And my investment in heart and emotion returned empty?

No, I am avoiding past mistakes I committed time and again,
The sins of openness, of sincerity, of seeking acceptance.
Well, I have learned I don’t need to seek those things from anyone.
I have learned that when given, they use them for their own gain.
I have learned to stay clear of the trouble.

I am thought of as an acquaintance, never a friend.
People know me by my smile and that I treat them well in my presence.
But when someone asks you, “What do you know about him?”
You shrug and smile and say “I hear he’s a great guy.”
And that’s as far as it goes. It’s as much as anyone needs to know.



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